Walkens Welcome

“never half-ass two things; whole ass one thing” ron swanson, “parks & Rec” One of many marvelous aspects of being a lunatic on a creative tear is that you can come up with all kinds of ideas that make sense to no one else but are crystal clear to your …

Drawn To The Fire

“How do you always get the best of me?/ I’m out here living in a fantasy/ I can’t enjoy a goddamn thing” Jason Isbell, “Anxiety” New firehouse, new crew, new shift and yet another new chapter in life. The last 19 months in the last fire station were a mellow …

Third Gear

“You and I both know that the house is haunted/ and you and I both know that the ghost is me” -Shakey Graves, “Dearly Departed”   “You’re actually getting in better shape. What are you doing different?” These words from a friend at the gym who has known me long …

Dry Me A River

“I don’t see you through the windshield/  I don’t see you in faces looking back at me/  Alcohol doesn’t have much that matters to say/  Can’t imagine where you and time to kill will stay” -Uncle Tupelo,  “Still Be Around” The holidays have come and gone, and in a dozen …

Funktown

“Who are you if not the one I met?”  -Jason Isbell, “The Life You Chose” From a long list of gibberish I utter about living authentically, one of the most often employed is “we teach people how to treat us.” It’s a great one from the quiver, and it’s usually …

A Split Second Of Grace

  “Death keeps no calendar”  (English proverb) Scared? I’ve never been so scared. I have never been so scared in 17 years on the department. I have never been so scared in all my life. Today, I found out just how scared I can get. We say “I almost died …

The Best Of You

Eight months. It’s been eight long months since last I wrote you, and even then the posts have been about the crazyscary aspects of The Job, and very little about the soul. Essays from times in the recent past have focused on the hard journey towards love (like these old …

Savage Addiction

“Springfield Truck 10, respond to XXXX W. XXXXXX St. for a possible J4, with an unsecured domestic situation in progress” “Truck 10 copies, en route. Truck 10 will stage upon arrival, Dispatch, please notify when scene secured by PD” “Truck 10, update, there is no domestic, that was a child crying …

Under The Sea & Into The Soul

Today Facebook gently reminded me that precisely one year ago I walked into Hearts of Fire Tattoo shop to get some artwork committed to my body. It’s my take on a mermaid kissing an old-school deep sea diver, and while the artwork’s original, the design isn’t; when I first saw …

Lift With Your Heart, Not Your Back

One year ago today I wrote this essay right here. It was about embracing your inner weirdo, forging forward through failure and a promise to be by your side as we stumbled through 2016. It was a story not of false hope but that through it all, we’d grow together. …