Fat For The Holidays

I look down at the scale, cynically.

Lies.

Filthy, lying, technology. I need to blame someone, some THING.

But I can’t deny how the pants are squeezing me aggressively around the waist like an overzealous relative who hasn’t seen you in a year and wants to joyfully choke the life out of your neck. And the mirror……that’s not technology. THAT’S the beginnings of some Johnathan Winters jowls and the chins; my God, those chins.

Here I am, 44 (forty-damn FOUR) and in the throes of some massive denial first thing in the morning, which pairs nicely with my coffee. There’s really only one person to blame, and he’s staring at me in the mirror, a horrific mug-shot of a middle-aged car wreck. And the snarling I give that piece of work in the mirror does not a thing to improve the situation.

So I got that going for me, which isn’t so nice.

And with the holidays blaring from every corner of life, the trees bare and the sky a perpetual gray, it’s easier than ever to over-saturate with food and drink as a means of passing the days. While the cat doesn’t seem to mind a belly, and in fact shows me hers all the time as some sort of weird display of camaraderie, I’m minding. The fact is that I was a skinny kid, could eat whatever I wanted with reckless abandon without gaining an ounce and to this day I view food like a ravenous teenager, craving Doritos and wings and beer and big bowl of ice cream.

I think that life is to be enjoyed, and part of that pleasure is eating, and I’m really good at it. But I need to reevaluate my relationship with food, just as I should probably reevaluate many of my relationships. Seeing as how the human spirit tends to be completely unpredictable, and you can control what you’re shoving down your gullet, it seems like NOW is a good time to engage the refresh button. I just needed some guidance on how to start, how to get some accountability, how to keep from falling into the usual cycle of mac & cheese and salami on crackers for dinner. So I turned to my latest passion project…..The Real State Podcast as a starting point.

Graham Smitham is someone I’ve known through CrossFit Springfield for quite a while; a former college swimmer he’s now the Operations Manager for Eat Fit Go in Springfield Mo. and we’ve chatted off and on about how making small changes to diet AND fitness will lead to some pretty major changes. Talked about it. Don’t mistake that for “doing anything about it”. That is, until now.

I had Graham on as a guest on the podcast (link to the episode here) and we delved pretty deeply into the role of good choices in our nutrition selection. We did this over several beers. And we came to the brilliant conclusion that we could embark on a partnership that goes something like this: for one month, I would replace one meal per day with an Eat Fit Go meal. Of my own accord, I also decided to up my attendance in Crossfit to more than a few times a week; as well I did some minor research and decided to try out some intermittent fasting (only eating between 11am and 7pm daily) accompanied by throttling back the alcohol intake. I would report on my progress on the podcast weekly, as well as go through the adventure with you, here.

It began yesterday, and let me tell you, the reality of staring into the numbers on the scale was horrifying at best. But technology isn’t lying here, I have been: to myself. And as we barrel towards the most caloric time of the year, I’m looking to defy some odds. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

And ps: The Fajita Chicken Bowl in the picture for this post? Is damn delicious. Give it a try; you might just be surprised.

By |2018-12-02T19:32:39+00:00December 2nd, 2018|Less Lardass|Comments Off on Fat For The Holidays

About the Author:

Full time firefighter. Part time madman.