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Vaarwel Mijn Geliefde Vader

I should be happy that you’ve been released from the demons of this life that haunted you for so long. I should feel a burden lifted from my shoulders that your long and arduous journey is done. In my mind you left this world, my world, years ago, one of your medical conditions prompting a… Read more »

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Home Made Time Machine

An enormous waste of time was undertaken tonight. I couldn’t place a classmate from high schools’ name, so out came the Cate School Class of 1992 yearbook. Three hours later, here we are, two cocktails and a torrent of memories to show for it. Besides the usual “holy-shit-was-I-really-that-skinny?” moments and the expected lament over wasted… Read more »

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Awkward, Party Of One

Last weekend I joined The Wife at her 20 yr. high school reunion. I knew one other attendee but was still forced to wear a name tag. At least I was given the option of writing my own name, so I made one up. The rest of the night I wore the label “Random Spouse”,… Read more »

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Tail Dragging Top Ten

“CALIFORNIA WOULD BE A GREAT PLACE TO LIVE IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE CALIFORNIANS.”  –Dirtbag (a native of the S.F. Bay area and current resident of Washington State) Top 10 Highlights From California Best Truck Stop Name I Found – “Jesus Christ Is Lord Not A Swear Word Truck & Travel Plaza” Best Aspect About… Read more »

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Countdown Is ON!

One week from today, the entire Missouri wing of our clan is rolling west to California, road tripping in what will surely be come to known as “I-can’t-believe-we-thought-that-was-a-good-idea fest 2010“. I’ve made the drive a handful of times, most notably in a newly purchased Peterbilt with the Outlaw Trucker (back when I had an excavating… Read more »

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A Love Story

The last couple of days spent on this trip went by in a seeming blur, no doubt influenced by a desire to return to the barn and seasoned with liberal amounts of imbibing. My visits with The Author and RoJo’s family were complimented by an unexpected visit to Aunt Viper. Aunt Viper is The Lyin’… Read more »

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Burning History To The Ground

Two firsts for me on this trip home: 1.) I rode a scooter all around town. I felt supremely emasculated on the thing, but I’m not so ashamed that I’d deny how fun it was. Even in the rain. 2.) I took said scooter up into hills of Santa Barbara and went to my childhood… Read more »

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Fine China In A Food Court

And then there was Los Angeles. Traditionally, I hate Los Angeles. I was raised to notice that the City of Angels has a bit of an issue when it comes to smog, crowds, traffic and a certain preponderance of assholes. L.A. is home to gang violence and pretentious boobs. Nothing good, save The Dodgers and… Read more »

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Same Planet, Different World

Notes from Santa Barbara, Day 2 People act funny if you offer them assistance. While it’s completely normal to hold a door open for someone in the midwest, when you do it at the fancy grocery store here, strangers mistake you for an employee. I helped a woman reach some sugar from the top shelf… Read more »

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Second Rate First Class

So the direct flight from Springfield to LAX was an hour late in departure. Why? Glad you asked – it turns out that getting mouthy with flight attendants will get your ass tossed off of a plane, post haste. I’m not sure what sparked the whole incident (something about overbooking), but at some point Todd… Read more »