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One Sick MoFo

Hey. I had a funny essay started earlier. It was entitled “Intellectual Man Candy”, and I swear, it’ll make you laugh. But I can’t finish it right now. Know how I know? I mis-spelled the word “jet” and “stalker” earlier. (Let’s not get into the hows and whys with regards to my use of both… Read more »

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A Grudge Match I Can Never Win

As of late, there has been some concern with regards to my ongoing detente with the trainer at CrossFit known as “Ryan”. In an effort to further defame his character, I did a little research. It turns out that “Ryan” is not only a sadistic trainer by day, he is also an MMA fighter when… Read more »

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Measuring Up

What is the measure of a man? This is a question that has eluded philosophers, teachers, coaches and the IRS for generations, and I think I’ve found the answer. It’s around 45 pounds. How can I say this with such certainty? Because that is the precise weight of a lifting bar. You know what I’m… Read more »

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Relationship Advice You Should Probably Ignore

So many insidious sitcoms and romantic comedies are based on the put-upon, far-too-hot-for-him wife and the bumbling/goofy/fat/incapable-of-communicating husband. As an hombre, I find this stereotype funny, reasonably accurate and at the same time far too formulaic. But then, how else can you keep someone amused for 23 minutes, if not by pointing out how inept… Read more »