Welcome to the birthday edition of the Half Past Friday highly scientific opinion poll. This weeks’ question was “what was the worst movie you’ve ever sat through?” Included from emails, FaceSpace updates and the like, here is the ranked scorings, in 3D. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will celebrate turning a decrepit 35 while soaking in beer and friendship down at a local watering hole and leave you to enjoy the results of your cinematic nightmares. Here ya go:
10. The Last Dragon (this was from a Springfield, Il. fireman who thinks he’s a ninja)
9. Soul Plane w/ Snoop Dogg
8. Stop or My Mom Will Shoot (I think Buns was going for obscurity points…well played)
7. Alpha Dog
6. The Cable Guy (creepy, but in my opinion not his WORST work….but that’s me)
5. Kazaam (this from Bones, whose OCD doesn’t permit athletes to “act” or vice versa)
4. Georgia “….then I had to listen to critics call it a ‘bold performance’ which made me want to start punching people” (this ranked so high because of the personal rage it triggered in Oliver)
3. Gigli (this was almost preordained, wouldn’t you say?)
2. Plan 9 From Outer Space (high value place on randomness…smooth work, Chad)
1. “Triller(sp), by Michael Jackson. I know it’s not a movie but it SUcks so much it should be told to everyone NEVER TO WATCH” (this made number one only because it comes from my brother Barbara, who clearly wasted those 7 years in college, hoping to become a teacher. This is a direct and exact quote, people.)
So there you have it, amigos. Enjoy your weekend, and join me down at Finnegan’s Wake tonight for a beer or three if you’re in the neighborhood. Cheers!
Happy birthday, ye scurvy scallywag – get yer ass back to town by June 13th!
Man. I just had lunch with the director of Soul Plane and I felt bad that I hadn’t seen the flick yet. Guess I’ll have to lie… He’s a good dude though.
I’m thankful I’ve only seen one of those movies…