guinness-is-good-for-youThe wild geniuses that are in charge of this site (ok, it’s just me and my multiple personalities) have decided on a few things: first, it’s obvious you lot love being entertained by yourselves, as is evidenced by the popularity of the Half Past Friday surveys; the downside is that those whose email I don’t have don’t get to participate. So starting today, the question will be thrown out here on the site.

It will be married up with the second part of this newer, freshly brewed portion of Half Past Awesome: The Raising Of The Pint Glass / The Karate Chop To The Throat. I’ll be listing for you three things in each category that I feel are deserving of each treatment. Got any ideas? Send ’em in ~ they’ll all be posted here on Mondays. All right…..let’s do this thing.

The Raising Of The Pint Glass

1.) Big T, Jefe O. and his brother John for joining me for a few pints down at Patton Alley Pub on Sunday evening. ALWAYS good to have beer with amigos from the fire department family.

2.) The Heathens: although they can’t yet join me for a delicious Guinness just yet, they deserve a toast for giving me a pretty damn nifty Father’s Day. You boys, and their mama, are like rock stars to me.

3.) Air conditioning: I am honored to honor you, forced air unit that makes life in Misery bearable. I would die without you. But first, I would kill others. Like the people who say it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity. So, in essence, you are saving many lives. Cheers!

Karate Chop To The Throat

1.) Iranian Ayatollahs and Supreme Exalted Leader-for-Life type dude in a crappy gray suit. You’re a pair of grade-A turds, and your violent suppression of individuals rights outweighs your obsession with black robes and Members Only jackets. If I had the power I would send Chuck Norris over there to cut you both down.

2.) Neighborhood politics. They suck. You know it. I’m living it.

3.) To local radio hosts that spend most of the time giggling at their own inane jokes and/or stories . Is there an air of narccissism about the whole thing, and, more to the point, am I the only one who finds (her) voice comparable to Fran Drescher? CHOP TO THE THROAT!

Half Past Friday Poll Question for June 26th:

You’ve been blessed with a visit by the deity of other-worldly powers, and, inexplicably, you’ve been selected to receive three super powers for a lifetimes’ worth of use. Despite the sheer impossibility of this happening to you, of all people, you are nonetheless stoked. What three superpowers would you pick, and why? Bonus points for creative endeavor. Email your answers to and tune in Friday for the results! Till then, take it easy, amigos.