The Half Past Friday survey was delayed this week due to a host of technical difficulties. And by “technical difficulties” I mean I was busy getting ready to spend some time with amigos & The Wife on a river float trip. And by “getting ready” I mean I drank my weight in Pacifico beer. So, enough with the excuses. The question for this week went as such……you’ve been blessed with a visit by the deity of other-worldly powers, and, inexplicably, you’ve been selected to receive three super powers for a lifetimes’ worth of use. Despite the sheer impossibility of this happening to you, of all people, you are nonetheless stoked. What three superpowers would you pick, and why? Your answers went a little something like this:
1.) Flight – I know, I know…boring, over-played…but anyone who didn’t choose flight as 1 of 3 powers is lying.
2.) Super-speed – not necessarily Flash type insta-speed either, but at least in the 500 mph range.
3.) The ability to hold my breath for extended time – while this ability would have many potential uses, I have to say I would only want this power so that I could swim underwater and explore the ocean without all the equipment
1.) The power of SUPER SEX STUD – the ability to make love for hours and to make women just fall for me. It really would not work so well if women did not want you – DUH.
2.) The ability to FLY – gotta get to all the women
3.) The ability to go without sleep – see number 2.
1.) To fly…because I would never have to sit in a traffic jam again.That would also be an amazing way to see the Tetons.
2.) To be invisible so I could sit in on all those “meetings” in the CEO’s office and have some clue why that f-er is running our company into the ground.
3.) To generate cash every time I fart. To blow a hundo out of my ass each time I fart would be not only lucrative (I have lots of gas) it would be a great way to save for, and well into, my retirement. I anticipate the gas to just get worse and more frequent.
1.) First of all I am going to have to go for a very ” I seen that one coming Super Power.” The gift of persuasion. I am a person who is struggling to get what I want right now in life, so this could come in very handy.
2.) Next I would want the power to be a “Shape Shifter” of sorts. I would want the power to turn into another person of my liking. This about that for a moment. You know deep down you would want to see how the other gender “feels things” Im going to put that in the nicest way I could. Do as you may with it.
3.) Lastly I would want the power to travel back in time. Some things that happen in life are way to good not to live through again. Come on now, not so imaginative. The parties you had years ago. Yeah, you see my point now. Way too good not to live through again.
1.) Mind reading – I want to know exactly what others are thinking….the ladies and my enemies especially, so that I could formulate my next witty comeback
2.) Body image control – at the beach? I’m the strongest, with the chiseled physique. At a mustache growing contest? I’ve got the chops of a early century lumberjack
3.) Flight – because I am always late
1.) I’d want to have the ability to control time. Speed it up during the crappy parts (like the work day) and slow it down when I’m spending time with my hubby
2.) Invisibility, so that I can find out what people are doing (twisted, I know)
3.) Super sarcasm….it doesn’t sound like a superpower, but it would be to me
Number Four (*note – from Heathen No. 1*)
1.) I wanna to transinform (transform) like Bumblebee (one of his favorite Transformers)
2.) I wanna beat Decepticons (more Transformer talk) with my shooters
3.) I wanna Pop Tart, Daddy
Ok so don’t mid mis-spellings and such as I am 22 oz of wheat beer into it. (By the way, karate chop to the throat on identity thieves; I will use my superpowers to cause you pain and death. If you want to steal from me at least have the decency to let me try to give you a shotgun blast to the chest.)
1.) X ray vision with selective use… need I say more?
2.) The ability to crush the throat of deserving perps with the power of my mind from a distance. Islamo-fascists beware as well as corrupt politicians and finance robber barons in the upper echelons of Wall Street. (Where’s MY bail-out bitch?)
It goes without saying that immunity from the law must accompany super powers because judgment by lesser beings would just be silly.
3.) Finally, the ability to fly so that I may distribute justice as Santa Clause distributes packages on Christmas
I don’t want to be a superhero, per se (after all, I read Watchmen comic books and realize what a burden it can be) so I decided to choose superpowers that would enhance my current life but not make me so obviously super – kinda keep my superpowers on the DL. After all, I love my current life sans super powers but there are a few things that could be better…
1.) Easy – I would have the power to be irresistible to all. Not just dudes, but gals too. How much easier would my life be if I said, “Mrs. Jones, Puff-Puff has pancreitis and it will require iv fluids, hospitalization and intensive therapy which will cost around 500$.” And Mrs. Jones looks at me with an adoringly silly grin and says, “Sounds perfectly reasonable, thank you for your expertise.” And there are a few dudes I’d love to intoxicate with my allure too – and frankly, without this power, it ain’t happening.
2.) I think I would like to be invisible at will. I don’t really want to eavesdrop on people and their conversations much but there are a few things I’d like to see without being the creepy freak who stares too much. This would satisfy my perversely curious side too (How DO super fat people do it?)
3.) I would love to be an instantaneous healer. For myself, that is. I wish injuries would heal immediately. This would include bites, scratches, back strains, sore knees, acne, broken bones, all of it. Just heal up fast. Is that too much to ask?
So, Im just glad to see Im one of the many that think this way. Thank you Uli 😉
Brooke, I think that if ever it came out how many people feel this way, Earth’s orbit would jerk out of line due to sheer shock. But that’s just a guess