That time of week has gotten here, and not a moment too soon for some. I wish I could be joining you all down at the pub tonight for a couple of dark pints, but the cold hard truth is that this whole fire department “job” isn’t exactly forgiving about absenteeism due to a “casual Friday” attitude. Those are the breaks. So this week I posed the question to you:
You’ve just been handed a business card by a mysterious stranger. When curiosity finally kills your cat and you call the number, the voice on the other end of the line calmly informs you that you have been selected to be the most famous person in the world starting now. You accept this as absolute fact. As well, you get to choose what it is you will be famous for; any talent, any feature, any accomplishment is yours to be had, but it can only be that one thing. WHAT WOULD BE YOU WANT TO BE GLOBALLY FAMOUS FOR?
Your picks and where they stand:
WHAT A GREAT QUESTION!! I’d love to be known as the person who cured cancer. Then I would like to take my royalty checks and disappear to a self contained tropical island with all the luxuries one could dream of including an airport and several guest houses for my invited guests.
This is so easy, I would love to be absolutely famous or these reasons only: 1. The most popular musician in the world (even though it sounds like crap and I pump it out like clock work because other people write and make the actual music) 2. spending the most money ever on the weirdest giant playground.
I can honestly say that I would not want to be the most famous person in the world. I would not want the constant violations of privacy and the hounding on the streets by the paparazzi (KCTTT, by the way) and crazed fans. Therefore, if my amazing ability as a soccer player were to make me world famous, I think I would rather stay the moderately good player I am today.
I would want to be known around the globe as the guy who defined an entire genre of music. Kind of like Elvis is the King, Hendrix defined guitar god and Zepplin was THE definition of heavy rock, I would be “The ____” of music.
This one here is one of your toughest and best questions. I would want to be famous for researching, developing, creating and obtaining the first super-strain (not the babylonian fiyah). People around the globe would know me for having created the first “super strain” or seed stock that could grow in any climate, anytime of year, in any condition, in any part of the world (excluding the North and South Poles). There would be a vast array of seeds for every kind of food know to man, that could grow anywhere, essentially ending food problems and shortages around the world. That’s a nobel prize waiting to happen. Double WHAMMMMMYYYYY!
I already have a relatively elaborate fantasy life, and this is just the sort of question that sends my brain on a free-for-all. While dreams of being a rock-star or winning the Nobel Peace Prize for solving world hunger are all fine and dandy, if I’m going to give in to this sort of flight of imagination, I might as well go big. So here goes.
I would be famous as the leader of the world’s first space colony.
This satisfies my inner sci-fi geek, my natural wanderlust and my dreams of conquering the unknown. Plus it would be super rugged and challenging and full of the unexpected.
Additionally, while this would allow me a brief window of on-Earth fame, with the requisite perks, I would NOT have to stick around for the really crappy day-to-day parts (like paparazzi, loss of privacy and inability to ever be really alone again). I’d have a limited bubble of glory, then I’d get to run away.Like I said elaborate but considering I can’t sing and don’t play an instrument, no less likely than rock star really.
If I could be famous for anything in the world, I would choose to be the first Taxidermist in the world to bring an animal back to life. Instead of the “Dog Whisperer” I would be called the “Animal Awaker.” If people are curious as to how I would be successful if I was no longer stuffing the animals, I would let them know that each family only has one chance to bring one animal back to life. So if your dog dies once, call me to be granted twelve more years of memories, and when your dog dies twice, call me to preserve it!
My off the cuff response was curing cancer. But then I thought, no, that’s simply not good enough. The person who cures cancer plainly will not be famous for long – it’s a medical discovery and people just completely under-appreciate advances in medicine and science. I’m thinking it needs to be something the world has been begging for for a long time…something most folks know they need and the rest of the population realized they needed it after they had it. I considered a revolutionary hair-removal product – but then I realized no one got famous inventing “Nads” and here you are still fussing about hair-removal so that’s not where it’s at. Or I could achieve something never before achieved – like Michael Phelps winning an insane amount of gold medals – but then if I get caught smoking pot everyone gets all bent out of shape. I could be internationally famous for being the world’s fattest person or largest breasted woman, or like the guy who turned himself blue taking silver supplements. None of it will do. Frankly, I’m caving under the pressure. I can not decide what to be famous for…so I’m going with MY personal dream of discovering the preventive/eradicator of cellulite. You heard me. And believe me, brother, THIS would make a person famous. For a looooooong time.
Ok Uli, put this in your pipe and smoke it…..Disproving Darwin and any theory that we as humans evolved out of a monkey. I’m not sure if Darwin meant well or was full of shit and it stuck like War of The Worlds or that Scientology guy. You don’t have to buy into Jesus or Allah or Tom Cruise to see intelligent design at work. Maybe it all stopped with Abraham or maybe the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has it right, don’t know but I think righteous popularity would be, as it always has been, a free pass to get away with anything…cool
….and in the number one slot because this righteous genius obviously shares my dreams and aspirations in this life…….
I want to be the worlds most bad-ass OUTLAW TRUCKER!!
Have the Emperors comments
went the way of his new clothes?
“happy clouds” ah, PBS at it’s finest.
Bob Ross was a saint, and don’t you forget it!
The Emperor (also known as my brother “Barbara” insists on getting so rank and vile that even I can’t post his insidious comments!
Censoship???here??….eeegad!! Seig heil!!
G-Man, there is a fine line between the “censoship” of fascism and the filter of absolute horse-squeeze. And when the line is crossed, I drop the hammer.
Censored? Damn. did I get banned from this feed also. I no longer can sign in?
Barbara, I have no idea why you can’t sign in. Sounds like operator error. As to the censorship, sexual references involving minors will get your a** flagged every time. You know this.
I know. I just push the limits 🙂
That you do, brother. Kind of like Klinger, from M.A.S.H.