jesus_fantasy_footballFriday again. I know for most of you, sweet release from the grind is but a few hours away. I feel that way this week as well, since the ever-accomplished B shift works Friday then Monday in this work cycle. Perhaps we’ll participate in normal family rituals such as cartoon saturation and catching up on all that matters around the house. As well, I made my second attempt to run this morning before work. The results weren’t AS disastrous as before, but it wasn’t an attractive sight to behold. Here’s this morning’s ipod playlist, since there seems to be an abundance of critics flooding the email inbox with their “opinions” of my choices.

  • Another Drinkin’ Song – The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
  • Modern Man – Bad Religion
  • Discreate The Limits – Crucial DBC
  • No More ?’s – Eazy E
  • Moron Brothers – NOFX
  • Mama Said Knock You Out – LL Cool J
  • All Along The Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix
  • El Lay – NOFX
  • Blenderhead – Bad Religion
  • Piano Man (live) – Billy Joel
  • Hotel California – Skadaddyz
  • Two Step – Dave Matthews Band

As for the results of the Half Past Friday survey, in light of this “new economy”, we’ve had to, um, downsize. So, from here on out, we’ll have to “economize” the Half Past Friday answers to five, so the competition just got fiercer than ever. Speaking of the competition, I give you the very best of the answers I received this week to the following question:

Since we’re all here meeting up on the World Wide Web, tell me the very first website you go to each day and (more importantly) WHY. Make your answers honest, witty and every which way but loose.

Number Five
Every morning starts out much like the one before. In fact, the song “Every day is exactly the same” by Nine Inch Nails has, for all intents and purposes, become my theme song. I’m a victim of comfort in the status quo. My web habits are not immune to this inane and somewhat boorish process. Each morning when I fire up the Mac (Oh, how I love the happy, nondiscriminatory chime it emits after the power button is pressed; it’s harpy-like tone calms and seems to tell me: “everything is going to be alright.”), two things happen: 1) I settle into the classic cubicle worker’s posture, as if I’m digging into the trenches for a full day of clicking away at the keyboard and 2) I fire up Safari, which automatically opens my homepage: Google Homepage. So technically, Google Homepage is the first URL I see every day. It gives me a mix of local weather, Google Reader snippets and my email headers. However, the first actual site I navigate to is Facebook. Yes, Facebook. I admit it. I like seeing the little, red, numbered badge in the lower, right corner of my Facebook homepage. I become not just a little giddy at following what people replied to my posts and pictures as well as seeing what hilarity ensued when I dropped that last post-bomb on somebody else the night before. I enjoy reading some of the less-than-grammatically-correct posts of some of my friends. It’s entertaining. I like to be entertained. And, what better place than the Mecca of Social Networking?

Number Four
Well the honest truth is, I am a facebook junkie. I have to say that my first site of the day, everyday, is www.facebook.com. It all started with the introduction to my Geekie husband. You see he is an internet fiend. He lives and breathes the World Wide Web. Before I met him I was just an average, run of the mill, normal girl. I knew how to text on my cell phone, I had an occasional online chat with a friend, and had just enough knowledge of the internet to be worried about it. I was a social butterfly and spent countless hours with my friends and family… in REAL time. The ROW, or Real Outside World, was my facebook. When the husband introduced me to the depths of the WWW it replaced my ROW. With his influence I am now a full fledged surfer, complete addict, and might I add… perfectly happy with my life. My morning doesn’t start until I have coffee in hand and Facebook online. I connect to get my fix of social interaction.  I don’t get out much these days as I work from the comfort of my home office/bedroom, so this is how I stay connected to the ROW. It has gotten so convenient to play the part of the normal friend, posting good mornings and chatting with others, that I have almost completely stopped all real interaction with people.  I find my self more and more, during my work day in front of this Mac, staring at the facebook screen. Waiting for something interesting to happen so that I can put my two cents into other peoples lives and pretend that I am still in the ROW. Would I go back? Life on the outside, in the ROW? I don’t know that I could if I wanted to.

Number Three
The first website I go to each day is jezebel.com.  Why? Because I am a feminazi bonerkiller.  And with the addition of driving a subaru, if you ask my husband, I am possibly a lesbian.  Wait, that is a lie. The first website I go to each day is halfpastawesome.com, where I hope and pray for new content.

Number Two
This is decidedly not exciting, but I’m going to contribute to the cause (such as it is) anyway.  I go to Drudgereport.com.  I think Matt Drudge is genius for his simple format and it’s how I’m sure I get the news…ALL of the news – not just the government-run, liberal crap sandwich that comes on my non-cable/satellite-having tv at home.  Plus you get human interest stories. One example from today: ‘ Possessed Teen Stabs 3 Younger Siblings.’  Gone are the days when I have to search all around for this stuff, now it’s all in one spot.  Thank you Matt Drudge.
Told you it wasn’t exciting.  What did you think I was going to say? “Uh, yeah, Uli, I go to bigveinyschlong.com first thing every morning.”  I mean, c’mon, I don’t go there until later… when I’m more awake.

Number One
Hello, my name is E— and I am a Fantasy Footballaholic…for the next 4 months I will feverishly visit my fantasy league home page first thing, as well as way too many times per day, to scour the waiver wire for sleepers, adjust my fantasy roster and follow my opponents moves. Allow me to testify to my process.
1. I am powerless over Fantasy Football – and I don’t give a damn.
2. I believe that a power greater than myself will restore me to the league championship.
3. I have made a decision to turn my fantasy will and moves over to the sports talking heads.
4. I have made a searching inventory of my team..and I have to make some changes.
5. I have admitted to God, to myself, and to SI.com the exact nature of my addiction.
6. I am entirely ready to remove busts from my roster.
7. Humbly ask for a trading partner that I can deal them to.
8.I have made a list of all those I have crushed in the past.
9. I will make amends to such people…and by amends I mean crush them again.
10. I will continue to inventory my team and when i make a wrong pick-up I will promptly kick them to the waiver wire.
11. I have sought through prayer and meditation…and sleepless nights and all too real dreams…the knowledge to improve my roster.
12. Through a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps…I will carry the message of the greatness of Fantasy Football to all.
Now excuse me while I check Yahoo! Fantasy Football for the latest news.