Monday again in these Ozarks finds me back at the firehouse, complete with the ritual shaming of co-workers, indulgence in sweet tea plus a visit from a psychotic homeless woman who has completely captured our hearts. More about her in a moment. The weekend showed us the first signs of an awesome fall, with incredibly cool temps, sounds of football straining onto the front porch from a radio and the windows kicked open with the attic fan running. I hope that the dog days of summer truly have left the building, as they are one of the least appealing aspects of Midwestern living. As is Monday tradition, I give you the Mud ~ the weeks heroes and villains, as well as the survey question for the Half Past Friday post. Remember to send your finest to firstname.lastname@example.org. Hope the week finds you all cool as a fall day in Missouri.
RAISING OF THE PINT GLASS
1.) The Bentons – Brad and Carie hosted one of those “Passion Parties” – but this time it was for couples. Normally the realm of hysterical giggling women, it takes a certain set of stones to go to one of these things as a man. But it takes even bigger clankers to host it. Good times were had by all (or so I’m told), and for that I raise my pilsner glass to you, amigos!
2.) Fire Station #2 – In light of the troubles with the economy, the pension fiasco and other assorted tales of woe, sometimes it takes the kind of humor firefighters slap one another with to make for a great day; this was highlighted by E—-, our new homeless friend, who came into the house and informed us that “I’m pregnant and seeping something”. Yeah, she’s pregnant and I’m the Pope. A brew for the lads.
3.) Crack Tea – when the summer months are here, one of the firehouse traditions is to brew up sweet tea the likes of which will put you into diabetic shock. Although no substitute for the beloved bean, it makes for an old-school energy drink that’ll rot your teeth and guts out. I love it. If we could drink beer on duty, I’d raise a Guinness to the institution of Firehouse Crack Tea.
KARATE CHOP TO THE THROAT
1.) Pluto haters – I grew up believing that Pluto was two things: a planet and a dog. Stupid scientists from the International Astronomical Union crushed one of those beliefs three years ago with their re-assessment of the icy planet. That’s right – it’s a planet. And today, apparently, a debate rages on as to it’s merit within the universe. I return Pluto to Full Planetary Status and chop the throat of the IAU haters. Stop with the revision of my childhood science schooling.
2.) Lindsey Lohan – she just irritates me.
3.) Steven Seagal – he’s apparently starring in a new reality series on A&E, having milked the “Killing Immigrant Drug Dealers” movie genre bone-dry. What won’t we do as a society for our fifteen minutes (extended in his case by about 20 years)? Apparently, nothing. 7th degree black belt in Aikido Karate Chop to your throat, you ponytailed putz.
HALF PAST FRIDAY SURVEY QUESTION FOR AUGUST 28TH
You’re just a small town girl (or boy), livin’ in your lonnnely world, you take the midnight train going anyyyyywhere. So tell me where you’d go, if you were to pick right now, and why. Make ’em funny as ever, and the top five will make it onto the Friday survey. Mail the results to email@example.com, then check in Friday, amigos.
Uli, how in the world do you guys like that tea?…seriously, when I was out there I couldn’t believe how many people loved it, and I think…well, lets just say no thanks. Common Steven Seagal, he’s the under appreciated, multi-talented actor who been’s keeping alive the leather jacket fad…Ok, agreed, he’s crap!
BTW, do we always need a reason to drink?
crack tea is an acquired taste. You, sir, do not have the sophisticated palate to appreciate it.
Thanks for the ROTPG friend. Good times were indeed had by all. Once I remove any evidence that incriminates me; I will broadcast the video. Your brothers should get a kick out of it.
As for the sweet tea; I think I may have been gone from my native North Carolina too long now. Why not just drink a glass of watered down maple syrup? Since I am off the caffeine, I will stick with my beloved Schlafly.
I see from the survey question that Journey is still stuck in your head too. Don’t stop believing!
don’t question my love for sweet tea. I can only handle it in small amounts and I feel pretty disgusting afterwards; it’s a similar effect that fried chicken has on me as well. And no, I won’t stop believing until the wheel in the sky STOPS turning.
If you ever get bored with the crowd that wanders into the fire station,come to the pub for happy hour…it’s peak bus station time. You may even get to see our resident hooker!
um, I prefer to think of her as a “fallen angel”,Tonia. And we dated last year, briefly. By “briefly”, I mean for like an hour or so.